Aries: stop jackin off
Taurus: hoe and not ashamed of it
Gemini: fake
Cancer: crybaby ass
Leo: BIG Bitch and u fuckin kno it. u love it dont u.
Virgo: ethereal and always SO busy
Libra: basic
Scorpio: u are sleepy and powerful.
Sagittarius: probably like drinkin some healthy shit. u look good as hell too.
Capricorn: bitter
Aquarius: clean ur fingernails
Pisces: stop bein so stingy an love urself


bitter af


Super hoe

(Source: octopussoir-)


ma’am when i said freestyle i did not mean rap. this is a swimming competition please turn down the beat. ma’am.


TURNT UP? more like learnt up. stay in school

(Source: cooldude10000million)

Goodnight my friends
For it is 2am
And I’ve got shit to do later

Anonymous asked: well okay then, better keep that power hidden safe. wouldnt want dinkleberg to have it.

Some day.. The world will see..

My powerful boobs

But that day is not today

Anonymous asked: well thats pretty powerful, considering the fact that two of the biggest conquerors history have ever seen has tried and failed to conquer russia. I dont think that much power should be kept alone.

My body is too powerful for mankind.

Anonymous asked: rad like overthrow the french goverment or like oh hawt damn?

Like “hawt damn that could overthrow Russia” or some shit

Anonymous asked: I dont think itd be fair for you to be keeping such beautiful things to yourself.

Ehh I dunno man

My body is hella radical tho..



what if death is just level 2

I never played a level one that was this fucking hard

Maybe this is just dark souls. Or PAC man


Pussy tighter than a white woman’s grip on her purse when she’s walking through a black neighborhood.

(Source: vxpo)





As a professional internet, it’s my job to search the web for quality, intellectually stimulating content. Like this.

The heavens parted, and delivered unto us a scion of hope, a glimmer of immortality. This song.

Its been a few hours since I posted this and I’m pretty sure I’ve gone back to listen to it about twelve times now and each time it still makes me almost develop a hernia from laughing so much.


fun first date ideas: overthrow ur government w/ the bae
Anonymous asked: do post nudes.

Right now

I keep forgetting that I am 18 and I can legally post nudes. Oh.